The trees are in full bloom and the fur is so soft to touch, soft as the tickle of whiskers on my cheek. I wish with all my might to be this kittens mother, but I'm not, and little brother is screaming that I won't share, I won't let him hold it. Big sister takes it from me, which is what she does best in the world and I mentally wish her into a scarecrow forever stuck in a moldy field being laughed at by the birds and giggled at by the nosy cows.

She coos sweetly in little brothers ear, stroking the kitty and breathing deep it's fresh from- mothers-milk-scent that still lingers on my clothes and in my nose. I want to reach out and pinch them both but sit in the nook of the joining brick walls, staring out of my shadow waiting until I can hold it again.

A car honks and I see daddy pulling up the drive in his big old loud car. Maybe I can get him to give me the kitten back and ha, won't that make big sister mad! He runs into the house and back out again shaking his head clutching the forgotten wallet in his hand and hurrying back to the car before all of the kids can spy him and keep him there with their questions and crying for him to stay and he misses all of his classes this day. I know better when I see him than to ask him for the kitten so keep my seat against the cool brick wall.

Little brother is poking his head through the window of the car, crying for daddy to take him with him. Daddy says no, little brothers aren't allowed to go to Mommy and Daddy schools, but that he should wait for him here where he can play with his pretty kitten and later won't they have fun together playing ball or maybe going down to the woods to play in the creek. Little brother begins to wail and clutch the door and big sister runs to help.

I sit in my corner and am scared that little brother will drop my baby kitten which he is holding loosely by one little paw. Big sister catches his hand and pulls him back away from the car so daddy can leave. Daddy smiles at her and I feel bad I have doomed her to a lifetime of watching over musty corn fields. He tells little brother as he begins to back the car down the drive that when they get home they will play, won't that be fun and little brother's wails turn to angry screams and they don't see until to late what I watch with horror from my cold little corner; my sweet little kitten hurling to the ground, hurling under daddy's big old heavy car and I can't think anymore over the sound that must be my scream at the sight of the delicate fur crushed and dirtied. I can't think over the sound of the painful noises that have replaced the little soft mewings coming from my little one.

Daddy's face is white like a sheet and big sister is standing frozen with little brothers hand in hers, crying. My teenaged awkward cousin runs up to help and they talk together in whispers.
Poor thing..nothing to do...vet's too far away..it's for the best..now..be quick.

I take back my bratty ways, I apologise to god that I cursed big sister and wanted to pinch little brother and all I want is for daddy to fix him; straighten the little back and legs and I wonder what they are doing going to the woods, is there some magic in the woods..in my fairy tree maybe, but no--I know even before I hear, what is going to happen and I learn that day, sitting in my cold corner looking into little brothers pouting unrepentent face, more lessons about life than I have in all the days since.

Ramblin' Hoosier~